5 months and 1 day

I know I am a day late posting this blog.  But these past few weeks have been quite hectic, from dealing with the new apartment and coping with having to end maternity leave to return to the office.

Alexandra  has grown immensely.  She seems to show a personality that is sociable and warm already.  Her smile lights up a room and brings to the grumpiest of all a twinkle to their eye.  Just yesterday at lunch with a coworker, all our surrounding tables commented "what a happy baby she is"! And of course she smiles big, fueling passerby's comments further "she's so beautiful".  And "beautiful" is that magic word that always, without fail, makes her smile even more.  For a moment it seems, people around her, including me, forget our surroundings to drown in her toothless, squinty, open mouth smile! 

I don't know how i'm going to do it.  A week from this Friday I will be back at the office, full time.  How does one go "back" to work? There's no going back to the way it was.  No way can I return to the office like coming back from a vacation, or a sabbatical like the four-month time I took to complete my dissertation.  This is not that kind of going back.  

We started to practice today my time away from Alexandra.  Meme Ava takes Alexandra as early as possible...today was at 8:45am...and follows a routine that sort of organically developed between Alexandra and me.  We play, she naps, she eats and we play again.  Then (on nice days) we go outside for a walk.  She eats again and naps. Suddenly it's 5pm.  But not today.  Today I'm away in the bedroom, listening to her get accustomed to workdays without me (and I'm trying to get adjusted the same).  And she does very well until...she cried enough to make me "intervene".  I don't know what she was feeling but it hurt me to hear her cry.  Little by little, I know, we both will get used to these darn workdays.  I know they will be much harder for me than for her but in the end we will all be better: Alexandra will learn from and enjoy Meme Ava; I will...uh, I just know I will be better, right? Somehow.

Although Alexandra sleeps for a good amount of time at night, at least six hours, we both got used to sleeping in...sometimes until 11am.  I seemed to get my 8 hours of sleep some how some way.  But now that work demands I show up a particular time,  I may begin to suffer the sleeplessness that many parents often complain about.  I'm not sure if and when we begin giving Alexandra solid foods will assist in establishing a longer sleeping pattern at night.  Some people have suggested this may help.   We decided to wait another month to give her solids starting with low(er) calorie foods like vegetables.  Both Curt and I are really looking forward to this time, where she can sit at our dinner table and enjoy family dinner time.  With her intense curiosity we can only imagine what dinner conversations will be like...but I know I'm getting way ahead of myself.

The Countdown Continues